Furtive Glances
by Akane-Rei
Summary: How one look changes the lives of Aoshi Shinomori and Kaoru Kamiya. A x K.
1. First Impressions

**Furtive Glances - A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction**

**_Chapter One: First Impressions_**

She was nothing.

Her and her ragtag band of misfits.

He smirked.

The Kenshin-gumi, as that boy called them. Unremarkable in skill and inept in execution, her little group of outcasts together did not have a tenth of the skill or experience of even just one of his men. They were undisciplined hotheads who rush to the fray impetuously and unprepared, without a backward glance. That they had the temerity to take an unknown woman under their wings was mind-boggling. But the fact that they would even dare to fight to keep the opium producer was astounding. He shook his head. Defeating them, _intimidating _them should not have been an issue. Retrieving Megumi Takani for Kanryu should have been a relatively painless exercise, an irritating nuisance at most.

Except for the Battousai factor.

When he first learned of Battousai's presence, a plan had slowly formed in his mind. This was the chance he had been waiting for. A chance for the Oniwaban group to go down in history as the 'strongest.' It was something he could give to his men. A source of pride they could all draw upon. He had been given the golden opportunity of fighting the man he should have fought long ago in the revolution. To fight this man, this Battousai, to defeat him would have been a vindication to the Oniwaban group's strength.

He wiped his brow and continued with his work. He was, he might as well admit it, tired and injured. He wondered at the odd tricks that fates played. Of all the places in all of Tokyo for the opium doctor to barge into, her luck would have her run straight into the arms of Battousai and his companions. And what an odd band of brothers (and sister, if one were to be more accurate) that turned out to be. Again, he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

What in god's name was the legendary hitokiri doing with a group of helpless idiots? The fighter-for-hire, he could understand. Maybe. While next to being the most threat after Battousai, Sanosuke Sagara was still nothing but a street punk with adequate offensive moves and little or no defense to speak of. Hardly much use to someone like Battousai. And then there was that former pickpocket. A child, for god's sake. He winced, remembering the look in the boy's eyes. He didn't think he had ever been that…spirited. Whatever times that boy had spent with the Yakuza, it wasn't enough to dampen his fighting spirit. Admirable, but foolish.

And last, but not least, there was Kamiya.

"_Kenshin!" _

He closed his eyes, pausing for awhile. He could still hear her voice calling out for Battousai.

That woman housed not just Battousai, but every other down-on-his-luck fool who happened to wander by her sight. Megumi was just the latest, but he was sure not the last, to be taken under the wing of her dojo.

What kind of woman opens her home to virtual strangers?

_The kind of woman whose worried eyes followed every move Battousai made during his fight._

He frowned, remembering the intentness of her gaze. Her eyes had been fixed on Battousai long before the fight began. He had a feeling that those eyes had been on Battousai ever since she met him. He grunted, feeling the sharp pain in his legs as he continued on his task. It was useless, of course, for her to have any hope of a future with Battousai. The past would always haunt the hitokiri's steps, preventing any sort of safe haven even at the Kamiya dojo. Then there was the fact that he, Aoshi, would challenge Battousai again in the near future. And this time, this next time, he would be able to give his friends the title of the 'strongest.'

Again, his thoughts went inexplicably back to the woman. He remembered noticing the faint smell of jasmine just before the fight. It had intrigued him at first. Such a foreign scent intermingling with the oppressiveness of Kanryu's mansion. Battousai soon claimed his attention, however, and he had dismissed the scent as inconsequential. It wasn't until now, with this task at hand, that his mind wandered back to the scent of jasmines.

He cursed with frustration.

What was it about that woman that led him to think of her even at this time?

Perhaps it was the look she gave him.

Back there, across the room. Across the wide abyss that was his comrades' dead bodies, he had looked up for a moment to see the Kenshin-gumi head towards Megumi's location. In that space of a moment, his eyes had met hers. And for the briefest of seconds, in spite of the chaos and the darkness that clouded his heart, he had felt…peace. With her one look, she had relayed sympathy and sorrow, kindness and compassion, perspicacity and…pity. His heart had basked under the caring of her gaze until he recognized the pity that clouded the depths of her eyes.

That one such as her should ever have reason to feel pity for him!

With soul-jarring abruptness, their gazes had broken away from each other and his eyes returned to stare unseeingly at his men's sacrifice. At the corner of his sight, he had noticed her give a respectful bow towards his lifeless friends before she turned her back and joined Battousai.

Battousai.

The name reverberated in his mind as he placed the last bit of earth to cover his friends' graves.

Back in the mansion, Kamiya had gone with Battousai to find the opium doctor. At her departure, his mind had once more focused on the slain Oniwaban group. The bullet-laden bodies of his friends.

Shikijo.

Hyottoko.

Beshimi.

Hannya.

All had died to protect…him. They had died to protect the one who should have protected them. That life should hand all of them such a cruel blow.

He remembered.

It was then that he let the darkness come.

Without her eyes looking upon him, he had succumbed to the rage that enveloped his entire being. He had given himself over to madness.

His jaw clenched in remembrance as he stared at the inadequate makeshift graves he had been all but capable of providing for his men. He had no flowers to give them at this time.

Maybe someday.

When Battousai is defeated.

When they become the 'strongest' of men.

He would adorn the graves with flowers of victory.

And perhaps…some jasmine.

* * *

She hadn't really given him much thought.

In the beginning, that is.

Or rather, she had not thought of him, not really, as a separate entity outside of Kenshin.

At first, she only thought of how his skills, how his knowledge, how his actions all affected Kenshin. They were to fight him and his men, after all, for that fox doctor. He and his men were experienced. Veteran fighters from the Revolution. It mattered not that they themselves did not fight in Kyoto. Their strength was still formidable.

She smiled as she continued to walk towards her destination.

And yet, no matter how formidable the foe, she and her friends had still rushed to help, to save, to rescue Megumi. Foolish and dangerous, she knew. But…but they had Kenshin. With Kenshin, everything seemed possible. Even the impossible. For who would have thought that her group of friends would come out unscathed from that whole debacle? And who would have thought that the Oniwanban group would come out with only one man standing?

Fate could be strange at times.

Her breath gave a slight catch as her thoughts raced back to the time in the mansion. That time, in that huge hall. The fight between Aoshi Shinomori and Kenshin. She remembered her heart on her throat as she watched the two warriors dance upon their duel. Her eyes were fixated, morbidly entranced at the fluid movements of both men. She had bitten her lip at the clanging sounds of swords as they struck one another.

"_Kenshin!"_ her heart had cried. Her hand had gone to her mouth when she realized what she shouted out loud.

_Kenshin_, she had thought quietly, then desperately as his body fell on the floor.

"_Battousai is dead," _he had said so dispassionately

And even then, when they all thought he had killed Kenshin, she had not thought of Aoshi Shinomori as anything other than Kenshin's murderer.

When was it that it began? When was it that she began to see him as someone separate from Kenshin? It was back there, in the mansion. Sometime back there.

She sighed as she felt the sun begin to burn hotter as noon approached. She should arrive at the place soon. Otherwise, she'll be late coming home and Kenshin…Kenshin would be worried. He would question her about where she went and why. And those were questions she would prefer not to answer.

She looked up ahead, searching for signs. She felt the wind brush against her ear, almost as if to whisper to her a wordless clue. Where she was heading, she didn't think she could ever tell Kenshin. Why she was going there, she sighed. Even she did not know the answer to that. How she even knew where she was going was a mystery to her. All she knew was that as she passed through these woods one morning, she had felt something tug at her heart. It was the same feeling she had that time…in Kanryu's mansion.

Aoshi Shinomori.

She remembered the destruction that gatling gun had wrought. As she followed the others to find Megumi, she had looked back at the tragic scene that lay before them and met the icy gaze Aoshi Shinomori. As their eyes had locked upon one another across a sea of devastation, in that one unguarded moment, her heart wrenched at the grief she had glimpsed upon his face.

She had raised her hand in an instinctive effort to brush away the pain and the loneliness she saw reflected in his eyes. She had raised her hand, almost as if it were possible for her to touch him from across the room and across the bodies that littered the floor. She had raised her hand…only to put it back down to her side as his face donned an impassive mask.

Perhaps, perhaps the grief had been a product of her fervid imagination.

Perhaps, perhaps his unvoiced cry of pain was nothing more than the howling of the wind outside the mansion.

Perhaps…perhaps…perhaps.

She had left with Kenshin then, but deep down…she wondered why her heart cried out in protest. She had wondered why a deep sense of loss haunted her every step as she walked farther and farther away from Aoshi Shinomori. She had wondered at the cry of rage that only she had heard moments later.

And now, she looked across her to the place where her heart had taken her. It was a quiet and peaceful place in the woods. A perfect place really for those four stones.

It had been over a week since that night at Kanryu's. Why then did her heart lead her to the graves of the Oniwaban group?

* * *

Next Chapter: In the streets of Kyoto…two lost souls pass each other. 


	2. Crossing Paths

**Furtive Glances A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction**

**_Chapter Two: Crossing Paths_**

The streets were even more crowded today than usual. In an unfamiliar place such as this, the bustle of people going about their business was a little intimidating. Especially when she herself was unsure of the task at hand.

How was she supposed to find him in a place like this?

She had been so full of optimism, that first day she and Yahiko came to position themselves in these steps. They will find him. How could there have been any doubt? But now, as she sat here feeling the hours and days go by, doubts began to plague her thoughts.

Perhaps she had made a mistake.

Not necessarily in coming to Kyoto, that is. But perhaps preparing a plan of action would have been a more prudent course to take prior to their departure. She let out a soft whimper. Their leaving Tokyo hadn't been exactly one of her more well thought out moments. She had been acting purely on instinct. A knee-jerk reaction that stemmed out of a need to do something, _anything, _after escaping the muted world of nothingness that she had lived in after hearing Kenshin's last words to her.

She gave a deep sigh and looked at the spiky-haired youth sitting on the steps next to her. There were times when it was his dogged determination that she drew upon to keep herself from losing hope. Another forlorn sigh escaped her lips before she could stop herself. Guiltily, she looked at Yahiko to see if he heard. He had been so worried and concerned and …_frustrated_ over her depression that he had watched over her like a hawk during the whole trip. He was always there to say the right things—or the wrong things, for that matter, as long as it worked—to bring her out of her bouts of self-pity.

She felt a wave of shame wash over her at the thought.

She had to admit that he had been quite the adult throughout this whole experience. To this day, she wasn't sure if she could ever explain her actions to others or even to herself. Remembering the relative ease to which she slipped into a melancholic state both perplexed and frightened her. She didn't understand…didn't recognize the person she had become. All she knew in that time was that everyone left her. Her father left, Kenshin left…Aoshi left.

She clamped her hand on her mouth to stop a gasp of surprise from escaping with that thought. Why would she even think of that man? Aoshi did not leave _her._ He just…stopped being there. Back in the woods.

She closed her eyes for second, remembering. Back in the woods, she had always known when he was near. A small smile curved her lips. She wondered if he knew. At first, she had been uncertain, even scared, when she felt the shift in the air that told her she wasn't alone. She had told herself that it was her overly active imagination conjuring up enemies or worse, ghosts, ready to attack her at any given second. She had been, for all intents and purposes, in a graveyard after all. She had even told herself that it was her sense of guilt that was making her feel things that weren't there, see shadows that were nonexistent, and hear warnings that have no substance.

She had almost succeeded in convincing herself that everything her instincts cried out to her were nothing more than a healthy dose of imagination and guilt all wrapped in a tight ball in the pit of her stomach. In fact, she would have convinced herself eventually, she was sure, except for that day. That one day when she encountered Aoshi Shinomori.

_FLASHBACK_

_Kaoru gave a slight jump at the sound of the screeching bird up above. She shivered in her kimono, despite the heat, and continued her walk. _

_It was her imagination. That was all there was to it. _

_No one was watching her, waiting for just the perfect moment to pounce. No one was lurking in the shadows, or worse, _hovering above ground_ in the shadows for that right moment to appear before her and let her know once and for all that ghosts, in fact, do exist._

_It was her guilty conscience and that's all there was to it. She shouldn't have lied to Kenshin and Yahiko and Sano about where she was going. Now she was paying for it._

_She picked up her pace. _

_No sense in taking chances after all, in case someone _was _out there._

_She gave herself a mental shake at the direction of her thoughts. The imagination she could live with, but the guilt ate at her soul. She was never good at secrets; she never liked having one and definitely never liked it when others had one from her. Life was always much simpler when everything was out in the open. And so, the very thought of keeping her graveside visits from her friends had been an anathema to her. _

_Except…except she couldn't quite bring herself to tell her friends about it. She didn't know whether they would understand. She gave a sad smile as she thought of her friends. She was afraid that Yahiko might see it as a betrayal. In fact, Megumi and Sano might just have the very same thought. The Oniwaban group had not endeared themselves to the Kenshin-gumi. As for Kenshin, though…Kenshin, she had a small feeling, would understand. She could almost see his lavender eyes as they conveyed empathy to her plight. She knew deep down that he, more than anyone, would comprehend her feelings of…gratitude and humility towards the Oniwaban group—the men who gave their lives to save their Okashira and in turn saved the Kenshin-gumi as well. _

_Her eyes stared unseeingly at the scenes before her until once more, she reached the gravesite. In that one selfless act, the Oniwaban group gained not just her gratitude, but also her admiration. She was sure, quite sure, that Kenshin felt the same. That then begged the question: why didn't she tell Kenshin about these visits?_

_She shook her head, unwilling to explore the answers at this time. Instead, she knelt carefully by the graves as she artfully arranged the flowers she had brought with her. They were nothing fancy. Just cherry blossoms she had gathered as she passed by a row of trees on her way here. It was the first time she had brought something with her to adorn the headstones._

_She hoped…she hoped that this was acceptable. In all her visits here, she had never seen flowers or anything by these graves. As she walked by the grove of cherry blossom trees awhile ago, she had thought that maybe it was time to put something by these stones._

_She shivered._

_There it was again. That feeling of being watched._

_She tried to shrug it of as she continued to lay the flowers on all four headstones, but she could feel her heartbeat quicken._

_CRUNCH! She heard the crackle of dead leaves close behind her._

_Her movements stilled as she tried to even out her breathing._

"_You silly little fool," she berated herself for what may be the twentieth time. She stood up slowly, her breathing erratic despite her attempts to calm herself. She braced herself, preparing herself to turn around and see what was probably a whole bunch of nothing. Nothing but the wind. Nothing but the leaves. Nothing but the trees._

_She turned._

_And gave a startled yelp._

"_Kamiya," his voice was abrupt, unfriendly, and most definitely unwelcoming._

_Mouth open, she stared at the man who all but promised to kill Kenshin. She should feel frightened and angry and affronted._

_Bu then, this was also the same man who had inspired such loyalty from his men that they had given their lives so that he may live. She swallowed a lump in her throat. _

"_Kamiya," he repeated at her continued silence, just as he stepped forward._

_And strangely, strangely, at the sound of his voice, she could feel the tight knot in her chest loosen. As she stared at his brooding eyes, she began to think, to wonder at perhaps the real reason why she had never told Kenshin of her graveside trips. _

_Had she known that she would see him? Had she wanted to see him?_

"_Aoshi Shinomori," she replied quietly, her eyes resting apprehensively upon his face._

_END FLASHBACK_

"Aoshi Shinomori."

Kaoru jerked out her reverie, wondering if she had said that name out loud. She looked at Yahiko, whose eyes were transfixed at the scene before him. Following his gaze, she gave a gasp of surprise.

"Aoshi Shinomori," Yahiko repeated as he got to his feet and continued to stare at the retreating figure.

_Aoshi Shinomori, _she thought, watching the familiar confident strides, her mouth agape. Had she conjured him up from her memories? "What is he doing here?" she asked almost to herself as she continued to stare at the quickly disappearing figure.

She watched as Yahiko galvanized into action.

"Yahiko, wait," she exclaimed, unsure of their path of action. Should they follow him? Was it _safe_?

"We've been here for three days with nothing to show for," Yahiko said, a thread of impatience edging his voice. "If we follow him, he may lead us to Kenshin," he called back to her as he started running.

Left with no choice, she ran to follow him as her mind raced along with her considering all the possibilities.

What was Aoshi doing here in Kyoto?

Had he come to find Kenshin? Had he…had he come to make good on his promise? Kaoru bit her lips as one scene after another flashed before her eyes. So distracted was she that she could barely keep up with Yahiko, especially with her kimono. She gritted her teeth and continued to follow Yahiko only to stop abruptly at the scene before here.

"You better watch where you're going you little shrimp!" cried out outraged girl as she tried to pick herself up from her fall after running into Yahiko.

"What? You're the one who bumped into me, Ugly!" yelled Yahiko back indignantly.

"Yahiko!" she reprimanded as she tried to help the young woman up. She seemed to be wearing a peculiar sort of clothing. She turned to Yahiko. "That is not proper behavior towards girls," she scolded. She turned to the angry and distracted young woman. "I'm so sorry," she apologized. "We were in a bit of a hurry..." she drifted off as she thought of Aoshi Shinomori. She was afraid they might have lost him.

She almost wept with frustration. Their one lead to finding Kenshin!

"Damn!" the girl muttered, surprising Kaoru enough to look back at her again.

"I lost sight of him!" she continued to exclaim to herself. "Himura, you big, red-haired loser!" she shouted as she got up.

Only to be held back as Kaoru grabbed on to her clothing.

_Himura?_ she thought. Did she hear correctly?

"You," Kaoru whispered, looking intently into the girl's eyes, "you know Kenshin Himura?" A wave of heat flushed her face as hope blossomed uncontrollably within her chest. "Could it be that you know Kenshin?" she asked again. "Please, please. Tell me," she implored as thoughts of Aoshi Shinomori were all but forgotten.

* * *

He paused, just slightly, from his purpose.

There it was again.

The faint almost indiscernible smell of jasmines.

He looked back behind him and saw a sea of faces, surging like waves as people went about their daily routines. He saw no familiar face, no recognizable figure. Chastising himself for even thinking that it might have been that woman, he purposely strode towards his original direction. He wondered if the scent of those flowers will forever remind him of that woman.

Of course it couldn't have been her. Of all the cities in Japan and all the streets in Kyoto, the possibility that Kamiya would be in the same city in the same street as he was in this particular time was small to none.

But then…she wasn't in Tokyo. That dojo of hers had been empty except for the presence of Megumi.

And Saito had said that Battousai was in Kyoto.

He stopped in his tracks again, looking back once more. If Kamiya was near, then Battousai must be too. He couldn't see her straying far from the hitokiri.

Except maybe in those times she spent with the Oniwaban group. In those times, she had been quite decidedly alone.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Aoshi Shinomori," her voice drifted to him as she looked at him with her azure eyes._

_For the umpteenth time, he asked himself why he revealed his presence. Why now? Why this time when he had always just watched her from afar before?_

_The first time he had seen her at this place, he had noticed her scent first. He had known there was something different when he came to visit the graves. There was a lingering scent in the air. It smelled somewhat familiarly like…jasmines._

_He had frowned as he hurried along the usual path he took to visit his friends. His hands instinctively reached for his swords as he ran down the path quietly. But in the end, he stopped quite a distance away when he saw her figure._

_He recognized her at once._

_What was _she _doing here? More importantly, how did she find this place?_

_He had been tempted to go to her, to demand answers, but something had stopped him._

_Maybe it was her respectful silence as she stared at his friends' graves. Or maybe it was the delicate way her hands stroked the headstones as she whispered words he couldn't hear to his comrades. Or maybe it was in the way she held herself together with what remained of her tattered courage._

_She was afraid of something._

_He could see it in the way she jumped at every little noise. The way she hugged herself as the wind blew._

_And so he studied her._

_All the times she had come here, he had watched her._

_What was she afraid of?_

_Now, as she looked at him with wary eyes, his mind began to formulate an idea. Had she been, in fact, all this time afraid of him?_

_He stepped forward and noticed her instinctive step back until she braced against one of the headstones. _

_A breeze swept through, tangling her hair and molding her kimono. He watched as she tucked a stray strand behind her ears. Her discomfiture screamed at him, but he ignored it. _

_He wanted to ask what she was doing. Why she came here almost religiously. Instead, he remained silent and stared at her._

"_I've…" she began, "I've come to pay my respects," she said hurriedly, an answer to his unasked question._

_He raised his brow and looked at her consideringly. Again, he remained silent almost for the perverse pleasure of unnerving her. It only seemed fair since he found her presence here…odd. _

_He watched as she licked her lips and attempted to speak, only to back down. At this rate, they would be here forever._

"_Does Battousai send his woman to fight his battles?" he taunted, knowing full well that the hitokiri-turned-rurouni would be more than appalled at the thought. Besides, he knew that Battousai was not here and had never been here with this woman._

"_No!" her reply was loud and immediate. "He," she began, as if searching for words, "he—"_

"_He doesn't know you're here," he finished for her. _

_Her neck snapped back up to look at him. "Of course he does," she protested weakly before her eyes looked away._

_She wasn't a very good liar and from the way she refused to meet his eyes, he knew that she knew she wasn't a good liar._

"_You don't have to worry," he said, looking past her and at the graves before him. "My fight is with Battousai and Battousai alone." He gave her a piercing look. "I don't need a hostage to win against him."_

_He heard more than saw her almost inaudible sigh of relief. And yet, that look still refused to leave her eyes. It was the look of a prey when watching its hunter._

_He was right. She was afraid of him._

"_I'm sorry," she whispered, almost to herself, but he was sure she had intended for him to hear it._

_He remained silent. Was this her pity surfacing again? He'd rather have her fear than her pity._

"_I'm sorry for what happened to your friends," she continued. "They…they—,"_

"_You will cease talking about them," he interrupted her curtly, as his mind crowded with the images of his lost comrades._

_Shikijo._

_Hyottoko._

_Beshimi._

_Hannya._

"_Their fates are none of your concern," he informed her coldly. Unfortunately, his eyes chose that moment to stray towards the flowers she had laid upon the graves._

_Why had she done this?_

_He watched her bite her lip, as if to stop herself from saying more._

"_I'm sorry for disturbing you," she finally said. "I won't come anymore, if that's your wish," she said softly._

_She gave flowers to the graves of men she never knew._

"_I don't care," he replied, walking away. He needed to get away from this woman. There was something about her. He must never forget that her first and foremost concern in the health of Battousai. And the health of Battousai…did not agree with him._

"_Do what you wish. It matters not to me," he lied. And unlike her, he was a very good liar._

_That was the last time he watched her._

_END FLASHBACK_

He knew she returned to the graves, but he had made it a point to leave once he noticed her presence. Even when she came without his knowledge, her fresh scent always lingered, betraying her presence. Furthermore, he would notice the flowers that adorned the stones once in awhile. Flowers he had never placed.

Not until Battousai is defeated.

Not unitl they become the 'strongest' of men.

Then and only then would he adorn the graves with flowers of victory.

Which was why, he needed to contact Okina. To find Battousai.

But until then, Kamiya's flowers suited him well.

Next Chapter: After the fight with Okina…a meeting at the Aoiya


	3. Homecoming

Again, thanks to WhiteRabbit5 for letting me know about this scene ) It would never have appeared in this story otherwise. I know you were hoping for an alternate Kyoto Arc (sorry about that), but I hope that these subtle_ differences _would suffice.

**Furtive Glances -- A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction**

_**Chapter Three: Homecoming**_

_**

* * *

**_

The Aoiya.

He walked slowly, deliberately towards the place he once called home. Not quite as he remembered it, he noticed. But then, Okina had been bound to make some changes in the years that passed.

_Okina._

Any other time in the years since he had left, he would have been certain of the welcome that awaited him when he stepped through those doors. Even in those years with Kanryu, he had been sure that had he returned to Kyoto, Okina and the others would have opened their arms wide in welcome and tucked him into their fold like a prodigal son. Clucks of disapproval might have surfaced in one of Okina's more grim moments, but despite all that, Aoshi was sure he would have still been welcome.

Now, as he walked the streets of Kyoto, the blood dripping from the side of his head was a constant reminder of his last battle. It was also a reminder to him (not that he needed reminding) of his unwanted presence here at the Aoiya. After all, he had just battled their precious Okina. More than anything, he was sure of the loyalty of these Oniwaban group to Okina. And Okina, at this moment, was lying in the floor in the pool of his own blood. Right where he had left him. Back there, with the child he had helped raise.

He stopped and observed the scene before him. The small crowd of the former Oniwaban group had gathered in front of the Aoiya. No doubt to discuss the current development of their particular situation. They hadn't noticed him yet, which was amazing given the wide berth that people in the streets had been giving him as he passed by. But this, this gave him the opportunity to watch the group's interaction with each other.

It had been such a long time.

They weren't dressed for battle, as he had expected them to be. Okon and Omasu had on the kimono they usually garb themselves in while working at the Aoiya. They, along with Shiro and Kuro, were gathered around someone hidden from his view. He caught the words "Okina" and "Misao" and of course, "Shinomori," from their group.

Clearly they were aware of the events that had transpired. Okina would not have kept it from them. Why then were they not ready to defend themselves? They should have anticipated his coming here and adequately prepared. Instead, he found them here gossiping about their troubles like children.

They should have been ready for him. It would have at least given them some sort of chance.

His eyes narrowed.

Or perhaps not.

With the same ending in sight, did it really matter that he had caught them unprepared? Their health was a small price to pay to find Battousai. If Okina had bled for him, then it would be just as easy to let these people bleed too.

He advanced a step, only to stop abruptly. Kuro had moved to one side, revealing the hidden persons in their group.

_Kamiya._

And her student.

He should have known.

It shouldn't have surprised him, their presence here. After all, hadn't he been waiting, just waiting for her to reveal herself ever since that day he walked into Kyoto? Some intangible sense had told him of her presence in the city. He had known she was here just as surely he had known of Battousai's presence. And now, her presence here at the Aoiya served to reinforce his knowledge that these Oniwaban group knew where Battousai was.

He was close.

He knew it.

So close to fulfilling his promise.

So close to adorning the flowers of victory over his friends' graves.

He breathed in deeply, knowing that the freshness of her familiar scent would make its way towards him like it always did in the woods. With renewed determination, he approached them slowly, noting the dawning of recognition that flared in their eyes. But most of all, he noted the impending dread in her eyes as she took in his appearance with all its implications.

For one brief second when their eyes met, he thought he saw…disappointment. But he brushed it off as quickly as he could and turned his gaze to the Oniwaban group. They were his target. He would complete the unpleasant task that Shishio's minions could not and extract the whereabouts of Battousai from this group.

Again, his eyes wandered over to hers and he almost cringed at the look of reproach in them. His hand tightened on the sheath of his swords. What he was doing was right and just. His friends would be the strongest. Their deaths would not be in vain.

With renewed effort, he pierced his gaze towards the Oniwaban group.

"You know where Himura Battousai is," he told them tersely. "Answer me. Or I'll kill you."

* * *

Kaoru had ran to the Aoiya alongside Yahiko in an attempt to catch Misao. She knew they were far behind; the Oniwaban girl had been fast. Furthermore, the girl had been empowered by more than just her own strength and agility. In her eyes, Kaoru saw the same familiar desperate hope she herself had come to recognize. She could only pray that Misao would be strong enough to overcome this adversity.

When they arrived at the Aoiya, it was to find Misao had left in haste once more. The Oniwaban group was gathered outside with their thoughts. She could clearly see the worry that furrowed their brows as they discussed the situation ahead of them. One name caught her attention.

"Aoshi Shinomori and Okina?" she exclaimed, passing a look of trepidation to Yahiko. "You don't mean to tell me that Misao—"

"Has gone to stop them," Omasu told her solemnly. She looked beyond the horizon. "She's fast, but probably—"

"It's been awhile since Okina left," interrupted Shiro. He bit his lip. "Most likely, it's probably already been settled."

A heavy feeling gripped Kaoru's chest.

Aoshi Shinomori against that kind old man. It would be slaughter! She knew not what skills Misao's Okina possessed, but she had an inkling of Shinomori's. If he had come here to fight Kenshin, then that must mean he had trained. He must be better than the last time she had seen him fight.

And that last time, he had already been a formidable opponent. Now, he had all his hate and bitter anger to twist him, to drive him. She could only imagine his skill.

Her hands went to Yahiko's shoulders, almost as if to steady herself. If Misao had gone to see Aoshi Shinomori, if Misao saw Aoshi kill Okina, what would become of her?

She blinked, her eyes straying towards the watch Shiro had taken out of his pocket. The sun had reflected its rays against the gold, momentarily blinding her as she raised her hand to shield her eyes. But, as she stared once more at the dangling watch, a familiar figure appeared reflected on its surface.

"Aoshi Shinomori," she muttered softly, in so low a voice only Yahiko heard her.

Yahiko glanced sideways at her before they both looked up to see the man approach them, his trench coat flapping against the wind.

As he stood before them, his eyes glinting in the sun, she felt the tension grab hold of her, of Yahiko and of the whole Oniwaban group.

If Aoshi Shinomori was here, that could only mean that Okina…

Her eyes met his._ How could you? _her heart cried. How could this be the man that four people gave their lives for?

"You know where Himura Battousai is," the words were harsh and unfeeling, coming out of Aoshi's mouth. She winced at the sound.

Beside her, she could here the mumble of the Oniwaban group. She could feel the conflicting emotions that ran through these people. Despite all that Aoshi Shinomori had done, he was their leader. The man they had followed long ago since the days of the Revolution. Behind his mask of indifference and in spite of Okina's dire warnings, they had to have still held up a small piece of hope for him.

"O…Okashira," murmured Kuro, his eyes disbelieving. Kaoru knew he noted Aoshi's bloodied appearance and knew that most of the blood were not his own.

"You're here," Shiro said quietly, his eyes torn.

Next to her, she heard a choked sob. She looked at Omasu and noticed the dread that filled her eyes as her hands clamped her mouth. "Okina," she murmured, like a child crying out into the night.

_If Aoshi Shinomori was here, then Okina was…dead_, the thought repeated in her mind once more.

"Answer me," Aoshi's voice spoke once again, "Or I'll kill you." This time, the underlying menace was clear.

She felt the tensing of the shoulders beneath her hands. She looked down at Yahiko, at the fire that burned in his eyes and at his determined stance.

"What do we do?" Okon asked, her question directed at everyone as her eyes bored holes at their former leader.

"Even Okina couldn't stand up to him," Kuro interjected, almost despairingly.

"Maybe, if we all attacked at once," Shiro's suggested under his breath.

Kaoru looked up to meet Aoshi's eyes, certain he had heard the comment.

_It wouldn't be enough, _his eyes cautioned her. _Not nearly enough._

Breaking eye contact, Kaoru looked about her at the people that surrounded her. He was right. It wouldn't be enough. The Oniwaban group's heart would not be into it, despite Aoshi's actions. They were crippled by grief for the death of Okina and the loss of their leader. And as for skill, she looked around her once again and looked down at her own weaponless hands as well as Yahiko's shinai.

They were no match for Aoshi Shinomori.

But, if they attacked all at once, perhaps…perhaps they could injure him enough to postpone his mission against Kenshin. The fate of Japan was what's important now. Not his silly ideals of vengeance.

_Try it, _his eyes almost taunted her and she knew, _knew, _that he could almost read her thoughts as they danced one after the other upon her head.

_It wouldn't be enough, _his eyes warned her again for what she felt was the last time.

She licked her lips and felt the tension of the Oniwaban group go up. They were poised to attack, she knew, all of them waiting for just one signal. She braced herself to help them, knowing that it would useless, knowing that Aoshi could very well slaughter them all.

_We have to try, _she tried to relay to him with a look. She saw a fleeting look of regret pass before his eyes as his hand tightened its hold on his sword.

"Aoshi Shinomori, you've hit a new low!" broke in Yahiko's livid yell.

Kaoru gave a yelp of surprise as Yahiko jerked away from her. The silence that followed his declaration was palpable. Daringly, her student advanced towards the intimidating figure, his shinai raised and ready.

Her heart on her throat, Kaoru followed Yahiko, her hands hovering protectively over him. She could feel the sheer outrage pulsating beneath her fingertips as Yahiko insistently approached the former Okashira.

* * *

He looked at the boy, recognizing the determined set of his mouth and his stubborn stance. "You've got guts, at least," he told him indifferently. "Foolhardy at this time, but that is not my concern." His eyes hardened as he stared the boy down. "You know where Battousai is too," he said softly, threateningly. He pushed his sword out of his sheath just a little.

And right in front of him, he saw the rapid movements of Kamiya as she snatched the shinai from her student and raised it against him. He stood still, reading her attack. He stood still, knowing that he could have avoided the blow. He stood still…but just for her. Right now, he wanted to make a point. He wanted her to understand the futility of attacking him.

He felt the full impact of the length of wood against his left shoulder. Her angry eyes met his in that moment of impact and he watch realization sink through in their blue depths. He had _allowed _this. In fact, he had braced himself for it. And while the blow was hardly comparable to ones he's received before, he would have to admit that it was stronger than he had anticipated. Various gasps of disbelief from the Oniwaban group and from the child followed her actions and he noted the protective hover the Oniwaban group formed around her.

He looked at her impassively as she shoved the boy behind her. Nervous energy emanated from her body; he knew she noted his lack of reaction to her hit as well as the fact that he had permitted her to strike him. He noticed her sudden pallor as she considered her options.

"Don't you dare threaten him," she said furiously under her breath, her face full of bravado, fueled by her protective instincts towards the boy samurai.

"Kaoru!" shouted the boy behind her as he bodily attempted to push her away so that he could stand in front of her. "I'm the one who's supposed to protect you, Ugly!" he muttered indignantly to his master, as he forcibly stood between him and Kaoru. The boy's face was a mixture of affronted male pride and sheer frustration before giving him a glare. "Yeah, I know where Kenshin is," he revealed with a stubborn set in his jaw. "But I won't tell you, even if you kill me." The boy then threw him a knowing smirk, as if he knew a secret. "You don't have to go looking for him—he's coming back to settle with you. And he'll finish you too!"

He could see Kaoru's hands move slowly towards the boy's shoulders once more, as if trying to absorb the righteous anger with her touch, before facing him fully.

"Just as Yahiko says," she stated softly and yet defiantly, her eyes glittering with unnamed emotions. "You have no need to waste your sword until then."

His eyes looked beyond her and towards the whole group. If Battousai will come for him, there was really no need—

"You said you needed no hostages to defeat your enemy," she reminded him, a touch of reprimand evident in her tone. "Neither do you need to fight these people."

He gazed at her icily. "You have no idea what I need," he informed her coolly, ignoring the familiar scent that assaulted his nose. Always, always, that flower would remind him of her. Looking once more at the group behind her, he gave her a parting shot, "I'll be waiting at Shishio's lair. Tell Battousai that."

He had taken all but ten steps away from them when he felt the imperceptible touch against his arm. He should have been ready for it; he had heard the rapidly approaching footsteps behind him, after all. But he never expected the touch. He turned back swiftly, his stance ready, when he almost ran into Kamiya.

She was closer than he had expected, barely a foot apart, staring at the drying stain of blood in her fingertips.

"You reek of blood, Aoshi Shinomori," she said, her voice quivering.

He stared down at her, noting her bowed head and her entranced stare at the hand that touched him.

"What have you done?" she whispered, finally looking up at him. Her eyes, her eyes asked him to deny what she considered truth.

He looked away and stared beyond her where he could see one of the Oniwaban group restrain the boy who so obviously wanted to follow Kamiya.

"Why have you followed me?" he questioned her instead, still unwilling to meet her gaze.

Her hand reached out, towards his sword perhaps, he never knew. All he knew was the quick response of his own hand as it gripped her wrist to stop her from further…touching him or his own.

"The sword you swing now is a cursed sword," she told him, her voice almost saddened. "It makes everyone unhappy, with every swing."

"Cursed sword or not," he replied, thrusting her hand away from him as if it burned, "my only goal is to kill Battousai." Finally, he dropped his eyes to meet her gaze. "Everything else is incidental."

"This is not what your men would have wanted," she stated, her control of her emotions growing stronger. "They would not have condoned your…your murder of Okina," she finished hurriedly.

"You know nothing of my men," he hissed as he leaned down on her, feeling the sudden surge of fire in his veins, "or their wants." He grabbed her shoulder and stared at her blazing eyes. "Do not presume that the time you have spent paying your respects have given you some special insight into their hearts."

She flinched away from him as if struck, her eyes carrying the heavy burden of disillusionment. At her inadvertent gasp of pain, he let go of her abruptly, some would say almost clumsily. It broke something in him, that look in her eyes. For a moment, he hated himself. That he would abuse the one person who visited the graves of his friends. He wished he could take the words, and yes, even his actions against her, back. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. What was it about this female?

"You have betrayed your people by joining up with Shishio," she told him so low and raspy in volume, only he could hear. "But to go so far as to kill Okina—" her voice cracked as she stared up at him, vibrating with fury.

"He's not dead," he told her abruptly, almost defensively, before turning away and cursing his unruly tongue. What was he doing? He had seen her mouth drop open in surprise and he could hear the strangled sounds coming from her throat. He almost congratulated himself. The woman was speechless for the time being. He glanced back to look at her, taking no small amount of petty delight at her flabbergasted expression. "Yet," he felt the need to add, before resuming his departure. "It is Battousai's well-being you should be more concerned about."

* * *

Kaoru felt her knees collapse from under her as she continued to stare at the retreating figure of Aoshi Shinomori. What had just happened?

"Kaoru!" Yahiko's voice penetrated her stupor. "Are you alright?"

She looked up to see her student staring down at her, his enraged posture hiding the worry in his eyes. She gave him a half-hearted nod, her mind still busy processing the implications of Aoshi's words.

"What did you think you were doing following him like that?" he demanded once he was certain she as unhurt. "And having Kuro hold me down so that I couldn't follow?" He squatted down to her eye level. "You could have been hurt," he whispered furiously. "What am I supposed to say to Kenshin when he gets back if you're hurt?"

She looked at her student, noting the concern he tried so hard to hide under his tough exterior. "I'm sorry, Yahiko," she replied gently. "I was just worried about you," she tried to explain, albeit inadequately. She gave him a small smile. "What am I supposed to tell Kenshin if you got hurt under my watch?"

"Stupid!" he yelled, but without much heat. "I'm the guy so I protect you, Ugly!" He stood up and offered his hand to let her up.

Surprised at the gentlemanly gesture, Kaoru accepted and turned to face the Oniwaban group. They seemed to have all gathered around her and Yahiko, actively listening in on their exchange.

"We need to get Okina and treat his wounds," she told them, her eyes glistening with relief. "Misao would need our help." She ignored the strange look Yahiko gave her at this news and focused on the Oniwaban group.

"Kaoru—" he began, his tone cautious.

"You mean—" Omasu interrupted, her voice trembling.

"He's alive, but hurt, I believe," she qualified. "We have to hurry."

"Of course," they murmured to each other, their eyes shiny with moisture.

She watched as they held one another in support, and briefly met the look Shiro threw at her.

_Are you sure?_ his eyes asked, worry evident in their depths.

She nodded lightly, knowing that Aoshi Shinomori would not have lied. Shinomori was many things, but in this case and this information, she trusted him.

Okina was alive.

And slowly, she felt the tight knot in her chest loosen for the first time since she had discovered his presence here in Kyoto.

Maybe…maybe there was still hope after all.

* * *

Next Chapter: After taking on Kenshin and Shishio…a reunion at the Aoiya 


	4. Reunion

**Furtive Glances—A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction**

**_Chapter Four: Reunion_**

**_

* * *

_**

She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky to feel the gentle breeze stroke her hair. All around her, the sounds of happiness rang from everyone as they celebrated their victory.

The battle at the Aoiya was over.

And, as unlikely as it was, they won.

She shivered, rubbing her arms against the goose bumps that formed. All they had to do now was wait.

She winced at how simple that word sounded. She _waited _for water to boil. She _waited _for Sano to pay her back the money he owed her. She _waited _for her dojo to once more be filled with students. She _waited…_

For Kenshin to come back from his meeting with Okubo. To see Kenshin once again in Kyoto. For Kenshin to finish his new training.

And the list goes on.

All her life, it seemed that moments existed for her to wait for something. Or someone, for that matter. And lately, she always seemed to be waiting for him.

Somehow, however, this waiting outside of the Aoiya…this waiting was different.

Beneath all the joyous and _loud_ celebration, everyone waited to see what must come from the horizon. Unlike her, however, the waiting never made them miss a beat of their happiness. All of them, everyone around her was confident that Kenshin would arrive, victorious over Shishio.

And in her heart, she knew…just _knew_ that he would. With Kenshin, everything was possible. So, why then, was her heart beating a little too loudly? Why was she shivering with cold when the heat and the battle should have made her more hot and sweaty?

"Kaoru!" she heard Yahiko's voice call to her.

Pasting a smile to her face, she turned and faced him, hoping he wouldn't see anything past the façade. She watched as he slowly approached her, his eyes grim.

"What are you doing all there by yourself?" he asked in his usually gruff manner. He looked closely at her. "You're not hurt, are you?" He made an obnoxious sound. "Because it's just like you to hide something like that so—"

"I'm not hurt," she reassured him, flexing her muscles for show and…in hopes of distracting him.

He looked at her suspiciously before pulling at her arm. "Then come on!" he exclaimed insistently, dragging her towards the group of merry makers. She was letting herself be pulled when she heard him whisper beneath his breath, "Kenshin's coming back, you know."

She looked at him in askance, her mind racing. "Well of course he is!" she said enthusiastically. "I know that!"

"Oh yeah?" he asked almost belligerently. She had a feeling that he would have crossed his arms to demonstrate his skepticism had it not been for his injury. "Then what are you doing moping over there in the corner, Ugly?"

"I'm not moping," she replied defensively as well as cringing as his choice of endearment. When would he grow out of this phase? She took a deep and looked at him steadily. "I was just being thankful," she said slowly. She gestured around them. "For this," she began. "Everyone's a little beaten up, but we're all alive." She looked directly at him. "I'm grateful for you—"

"Aww stop it with that stuff," he interrupted, a red flush staining his cheeks as he looked away. And for a few moments of silence, they stood next to each other observing everyone. "So you're sure too, right?" he asked quietly next to her.

"Of course," she replied promptly, her hand going to his shoulder. "I promise," she whispered, "I will never ever give up on him again, Yahiko." Feeling the muscles relax beneath her fingertips, she exhaled a sigh of regret that he should be so worried. "I promise," she repeated.

"Good," he said. And that was all there was to it, she was sure. For now. "Let's go join the others," he said, pulling at her again.

"Yes," she replied, "let's," she mouthed after him as she followed his lead.

The battle at the Aoiya was over.

They had won.

And, as she told Yahiko, she was sure Kenshin would be back.

Why then did her heart feel…conflicted?

She should be happy. Ecstatic. She should be celebrating with all the joy and heartiness that the Oniwaban group was perfecting right this moment. And yet she was…apprehensive. She was nervous. And worried. Even confused.

Without the fighting to distract her, her mind raced back to that afternoon. With Kenshin, and Misao, and Okina.

_FLASHBACK_

_She stood still and watched as Okina struggled to find the words to make his request. _

_Ever since he recovered well enough, she had known he would ask it. Despite Misao's feelings and Aoshi Shinomori's ties to the Oniwaban group, the Okina would do what he thought was best for the city and his people._

"_Aoshi Shinomori," Okina began, his piercing eyes filled with sorrow. _

_Kaoru held her breath._

"_Can you kill him with your own hands?" he asked of Kenshin, his voice steady._

_She felt her heart stop because, she was sure, her feelings cried out against the thought of Kenshin killing anyone at all. Her heart skipped a beat at that thought and that thought only. _

"_I am fully aware of your oath never to kill again," Okina continued, "But there is no one else who could defeat Aoshi as he is now. Only you can defeat a murderer who has thrown away all rights to be human."_

_She wiped her clammy hands against her hakama and licked her dried lips. She drew in her breath to say something…anything…but no words came out of her parched mouth. After all, what could she say? _

_Okina trudged on, "The only place a murderer can find peace is in death. The only way of ending it for him is death."_

_She looked at Kenshin and waited for his reply. It may only have been a few seconds before he responded, but it felt like an eternity to her. A knot had formed in her throat as she bit back the strange words that fought to come out. She felt a dizzying coldness take over her body as Okina's words echoed in her head._

The only place a murderer can find peace is in death.

_She closed her eyes. Just for one second. Just enough to attempt to silence her traitorous thoughts. She opened her eyes just in time to see Kenshin's mouth move._

_Aoshi Shinomori and death._

_Is this how it ends?_

_And why did she care? Why should Okina's plea threaten to undo her? Aoshi Shinomori joined Shishio and had made a vow to kill Kenshin. He…he was a murderer. Just as Okina said._

_And yet…she remembered. _

_His last words to her. That day when he came to the Aoiya._

"_He's not dead," he had told her coldly, without feeling. _

_And yet…and yet…and yet, and yet, and yet!_

_Her relief at that time had been palpable. And she knew, deep down, that while her relief had been mostly due to the confirmation of Okina's life, a part of it had been due to Aoshi's own actions. He had not killed Okina. He had not murdered Okina. That must count for something. Shouldn't it? Shouldn't it?_

_Words formed at the tip of her tongue._

"No," _her heart begged_.

"He was redeemable," _her soul cried._ _He had to be. Otherwise…otherwise, he wouldn't have told her of Okina. He would have killed Okina instead! _

_The man that four people—the same four people whom she owed her life and the lives of the Kenshin-gumi to—willingly gave their lives for must be redeemable._

"_Don't—" she whispered in protest, to herself or to Kenshin, she never knew._

"_Aoshi—" Kenshin said at the same time._

_She paused and caught Yahiko's questioning glance. She watched as his eyes narrowed, his mind playing back all the recent events. She looked away, unable to bear what he might see in her, what he might interpret. Instead, she looked back at Kenshin and Okina and waited, like a coward, to hear what came next._

"_He is not yet become no more than a murderer," Kenshin said quietly, his eyes gentle. _

_She let out an inaudible gasp. She looked closely at the man she admired. The man she cared for. The man she followed to Kyoto. The man she knew as Kenshin Himura. In looking at him closely, calmness settled in her spirit. She knew where this was going. _

"_If Aoshi had given himself to chaos," Kenshin began to explain, "when he executed his attack, it is likely that you would be buried in a grave right now, Okina-san. He probably toned down his attack subconsciously, that he did. That is proof that Aoshi is still human."_

_As if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she began to breathe easier. Of course, of course! Glancing around her, she noticed the same look of relief in the eyes of the rest of the Oniwaban group. But most especially Misao._

"_Even if his body is controlled by chaos," Kenshin's words drifted to her, "I believe that in his heart, he tries to stay human. Aoshi's place of peace is not in death, but here! So, I promise I will bring Aoshi back here."_

_With those words echoing in her head, she watched her friend, the child-woman responsible for helping her find Kenshin in this city of chaos. She watched the joy etched in Misao's tear-glistened eyes as Kenshin's words touched her heart. She kneeled and took her friend in her arms and poured forth all the feelings she couldn't and wouldn't express in that embrace._

"_I'm glad for you, Misao," she said, and knowing in her heart of hearts, that she was glad for them both._

_END FLASHBACK_

And now, as she waited with all the others for Kenshin's arrival, she knew waited for more than just him.

* * *

As the heat of the sun pierced through the layer of cloth and grime and blood that surrounded his bruised body, all his thoughts focused on each and every aching step he took that brought him closer to the only place he had ever called home. In more ways than one, he welcomed the discomfort brought forth by each movement he made as he and his companions headed towards the Aoiya. The pain and the weariness partially distracted him from his thoughts of uncertainty over the kind of welcome he expected once they reached their destination. Even with Battousai's words during the fight as well as the assurances given to him by his comrades from beyond, his feelings remained mixed as they walked in silence. 

He glanced sideways and observed as Sanosuke Sagara doggedly supported the battered body of Battousai while they wove their way around the streets, ignoring the stares they received from the locals. He would have offered his help long before now, but the stubborn light in the street fighter's eyes told him that any offers would have been unwelcome. There was a grim determination in his look and his stance that Aoshi himself recognized and respected. And so, Aoshi matched his pace to theirs more out of his respect and admiration of their efforts rather than any misguided thoughts regarding their safety. Besides, the extra time it took them to reach the Aoiya brought him time to reflect more on his circumstances.

When was it? When was it, he wondered, that he had sunk so low? Was it during his time with Kanryu? When he had consigned the Oniwaban group to that opium dealer? Was it then that he had abandoned his notions of honor and justice? Was it then that his pride overcame all else as he led his people to a path that ended with their deaths?

Or was it before that? As his mind sifted briefly through all the missions he and his comrades had undertaken, he tried to pinpoint a time…a time or a place when being the strongest became the most important thing to achieve. When had his quest to give his comrades a purpose to live turn into something dark and twisted? When had his desire to atone for not being in Kyoto on that fateful night turn into a selfish obsession? Try as he might, he could not a recall the single moment when all his dreams and desires overshadowed everything else…when right blurred from wrong...and when becoming the strongest was the only thing he had left to live for.

The life he has led these past years had become a blur of rage and madness punctuated only by moments of…peace. He had felt moments of peace. On those times when he visited his comrades' graves, he had felt peace.

No.

If he were honest with himself, it was only those times when he knew Kamiya had been there, when the scent of jasmines lingered in the air…it was only those times when he visited his friends' graves that he had felt any semblance of peace. All the other times…well. He gave himself a self-deprecating shrug. All the other times…

He was ashamed to think of all the other times.

It was a part of his life that he would have to learn to accept…and forgive. The only silver lining he could see is the fact that at least…at least those shameful times were a little less than they could have been.

Because of Kamiya…Kaoru.

Again, he looked at his companions, most specifically, at Battousai. The man Kamiya watched with intensity. The man Kamiya followed to Kyoto. And for what may be the umpteenth time, he wondered at the strange effect that Kamiya had on him. He knew…_knew_ that without her, his fight with Battousai would have ended much differently.

_FLASHBACK_

_The library was in shambles, the Battousai battered. And yet, he wouldn't stop talking. Philosophizing. _

_"As their commander," Battousai reasoned, "you wish to give proof of being the strongest as a flower to four men who had gruesome deaths. That I understand. However, with that weakened spirit of yours, saying so becomes an excuse so that you can look away from continuing to live. You aren't doing anything for those four now. All you are doing is swinging your sword full of evil and blaming those four for it."_

"_Silence!" he spat, using the hilt of his kodachi to deliver a blow. Enough was enough. He would take the title of the "strongest"! He watched Battousai cringe and take the hit without protecting himself. Seeing the man accept his blows enraged him even more. "A cursed sword?" he asked, remembering Kamiya's words. "A sword full of evil?" he repeated._

_What had Kamiya told Battousai?_

"_You and that woman know nothing!" he finally shouted, "Nothing of me and my men."_

_For a brief second, a confused look entered his opponent's eyes before he began another tirade._

"_To be so forceful in your denial," Battousai returned, "that proves that subconsciously, you know it is true."_

_Aoshi roared, grabbing Battousai by his gi and throwing him against another shelf of books. He followed, standing over the man he would defeat._

"_What would you know?" he asked. What had Kamiya told him? He cursed women and their unruly tongue. "It matters not. What she said is irrelevant."_

_He saw Battousai and the street thug exchange looks. _

"_Aoshi," Battousai said carefully, his voice deceptively even, "who do you speak of?"_

_He stared at them, seeing the confusion on their faces. He knew then, knew that Kamiya would not have mentioned anything, would not have said anything, pertaining to him and the Oniwaban group. He remained silent then, knowing that he had already betrayed some of his thoughts. The icy deliberateness in which he executed his actions was deserting him. For this man…for Kamiya even…to suggest that all he had done was not for his men! It was preposterous._

"_You know nothing," he repeated, struggling for the reserve he cloaked himself with daily._

_Battousai continued on his attack, "At least I know that you are hiding in the shadow of a flower that you call "strongest" and running away from reality." He paused, watching his eyes. "You have to put your own will to sleep. You know that if you let up and allow yourself to think about it, you will be crushed by the guilt of letting those four die. I understand that as well."_

_He clenched his jaw. That this man would speak of understanding._

_Shikijo._

_Hyottoko._

_Beshimi._

_Hannya._

"_You know nothing," he whispered softly, his mind conjuring images of his dead comrades._

"_But still, no matter what you do, those four won't rest in peace," Battousai continued. "Aoshi, your weakness is causing everything to be their fault and turning them into evil spirits!"_

_In spite of himself, he could hear Battousai's words reverberating in his mind. It wasn't true! He respected his friends. Loved them as family! He never blamed them. Never! _

_He swung his kodachi, only to have Battousai block it with his bare hand. Entranced, Aoshi watched as the blood trickled down the sword._

"_Did you know that Misao-dono cried when I promised her to bring you back?" Battousai asked._

_He looked down at the man who had the blade of his sword in a death grip. _

"_She was crying in Kaoru-dono's arms that afternoon," Battousai informed him, watching his eyes. "Kaoru-dono has had to comfort her and given her advice under these circumstances."_

_He flinched. Battousai's words and Kamiya's actions made him feel…reprimanded._

"_You are needed, Aoshi," Battousai's gentle words tried to reach him. "The Oniwaban group needs their leader. The Aoshi Shinomori who commanded not just their respect, but their love as well. And yet, will you still use the proof of the strongest as your cover? So you can look away from reality and run to your death? Bring back that strong spirit. Call forth the pride you have lost. Now is the time for you to awaken, Aoshi!"_

_Aoshi punched him with his free hand with enough force to knock Battousai back against his street thug friend. _

_Shikijo._

_Hyottoko._

_Beshimi._

_Hannya._

_With Battousai's words ringing in his ears, he turned his back to stare at the wall and examined the life he had led since the incident at Kanryu's mansion. In his mind, he could hear Kamiya's words from just a few days ago, telling him presumptuously how his friends would not have condoned his own actions. He could hear Battousai accusing him of blaming his friends for dying and using them as excuses to live the way he did. _

_That he would have the gall to suggest something so…reprehensible…so abhorrent…so contemptible…so…true?_

This is not what your men would have wanted, _her voice rang in his ears_.

_And for the first time in a long time, Aoshi Shinomori opened his eyes._

_END FLASHBACK_

And now, at the precipice of his home, he watched as the Oniwaban group and the rest of the Kenshin-gumi ran forth to welcome them back.

* * *

The sounds of shouting reached her, bringing her back to the present. 

"Kenshin!" she breathed in, her mind racing as she turned to the direction of the joyful sounds. There, three shadows loomed as three figures approached the Aoiya.

With the pounding of her heart blocking all other sounds, she ran towards them, barely noticing the presence of others who made the same mad dash towards the warriors.

And warriors they were, returning from battle.

As she approached the warriors more closely, her steps faltered. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Misao reached Aoshi Shinomori, watched her friend's tearful reunion with the man she had loved all her life. She watched as the rest of the Oniwaban group welcomed their leader unconditionally, with no regrets, no reproaches. Observing the fleeting look of surprise in Aoshi Shinomori's face was testament enough.

The man in front of her, the man whose body was so battered that Sano's help was needed just to help him stand up…this man had kept his promise. Kenshin had brought the true leader of the Oniwaban group home. Stepping up closer to Kenshin, she opened her arms and held him close, taking some of his weight off Sano's shoulders. In her embrace, she felt all the exhaustion and all the weight that this slight body held upon his shoulders. She didn't know what it cost him to bring Aoshi Shinomori back. She would never know what it cost him to defeat Shishio and his men. She would never know…and he would never tell her.

It was something she would have to accept, in caring for this man. It was what was expected of her, she knew. From Megumi's and Sano's gruff words and from Yahiko's grim determination, even from Seijuro Hiko's questioning…she knew. They expected her to accept this man, this wonderful and brave man, as he is. This man who fought to protect her, to protect Japan and its future. As she held him in her arms, she prayed for the strength she knew she would need.

And as she looked up to the sky, her eyes caught and held those of Aoshi Shinomori's. In those now clear blue eyes, she could see his understanding. Understanding for what, she wasn't sure. But above Misao's head, his gaze conveyed a look of sympathy and…gratitude? As he struggled to accept the welcome of the Oniwaban group around him, his mouth moved, forming words she must have misunderstood.

For she must have misunderstood. Because, when Aoshi Shinomori looked at her, with her arms around Kenshin and him surrounded by the Oniwaban group...she would have sworn he said…

* * *

"Tadaima," Aoshi's mouthed, unconsciously and without thought. _I'm home._

Why he said those words, he wasn't sure. But, as he found himself surrounded by friends, comrades—the only family he's ever had, really—the beginnings of peace began to take root in his mind. And as he looked down at Kamiya, whose arms held the man who helped bring him out of darkness, as his eyes met hers over the sounds of joy that surrounded them, the first word that came into his head had formed in his lips.

And it was true.

He _was_ home. The moment he had been surrounded by the Oniwaban group and the moment the scent of jasmines penetrated his senses, he was brought back to the forest. With his companions. And her flowers.

Peace had found him again. And he was home. He knew not what the gods had in store for him, knew not why Battousai's—no, Himura's—woman had come to affect him so. But, as he watched her eyes widen in surprise, and then in confusion, at the words he just uttered subconsciously to her, he was driven by an inexplicable urge to wipe away the concern that marred her brow. In those moments when his eyes held hers as they all walked towards the Aoiya under the clamor of well-wishers, he longed to thank her…for the flowers in the graves, for attempting to beat some sense into him, for all the unsaid things that helped jar him out of his bitter stupor.

But he was the leader of the Oniwaban group, as Okina's watchful presence emphasized from across the distance. And Kamiya…Kamiya was Himura's woman. Whatever was left unsaid between furtive glances will remain unsaid…as it should be.

* * *

Next Chapter: as Kenshin heals in Kyoto, tension escalates between two strong-willed people… 


	5. Close Quarters

Author's usual note: please note that there are gaps of time that occur between chapters. Because _most_ (although not all) of the chapters occur in the canon universe, I've pretty much ignored scenes which do not have Aoshi/Kaoru moments. After all, I know what happened and you all know what happened. Anyway, the whole premise of this story is to create a world where Aoshi and Kaoru still fall in love despite all major events happening in the same manner (e.g. Kyoto and Jinchuu Arc). And so, my chapters will only delve in the _differences _that occur in the canon universe as a result of furtive glances. I'm more focused on the small nuances that trigger the slow development of their feelings for each other rather than other events. Hopefully, my chapters contain enough allusion to situate the readers to the correct timeline in the story. If not, please do not hesitate to let me know.

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* * *

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**Furtive Glances—A Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction**

**_Chapter Five: Close Quarters_**

He found himself watching her.

It wasn't a conscious decision, the way his eyes would followed her. It wasn't an overt act, the way his ears would catch the sound of her voice above the rest. Furthermore, it wasn't a deliberate intent on his part, the way his nose would pick up the scent of jasmines. It was just something that was there, hovering in the fringes of his consciousness. An awareness of sorts.

He didn't notice it at first. He didn't notice the ease in which he could find her in a crowded room. After all, he was an Oniwaban group leader; it was only natural that he could pinpoint with precision where everyone was in any room he entered. But then, he didn't notice the way he tilted his head in response to the sound of her laughter. Or the way his heart would skip a beat whenever he caught her eyes with his. He didn't notice how her smile could lighten his mood and ease the dark thoughts he worked so hard cleanse.

At least, he never noticed all those things…until yesterday.

He watched her now, her slow progress towards the hallway. Her back was turned from him, and he was quite sure she hadn't noticed him yet. He was even doubly sure as he watched her slow down in front of one particular room. He saw the way she paused and contemplated. He saw the gentle way her fingers ran through the surface of the rice paper door and the way she bit her lip softly before leaning against the panel. Had he been in front of her, he imagined that he would have also seen the way her eyes would fill with warmth, hope and expectation as she listened against the door.

Although he had only seen Kaoru Kamiya thrice in this act, he knew she performed the same ritual almost every morning since they had laid Battousai in a cot in that room. Even the arrival of Megumi Takani and her skills as a physician failed to put a stop on Kamiya's morning routine. It was almost as if she was driven by an inner compulsion to check and make sure everyday. An inner monster that prompted her until she succumbed.

And inner monsters were something Aoshi understood.

This was why he never said anything to her, never commented on her actions, even when he heard her friends tease her whenever they've caught her. And while he didn't hear any malicious intent in her friends' teasing, he did hear the underlying concern they had for her. For while Kamiya almost always laughed off their teasing (or hit them with her bokken, for that matter), there were times when he would notice the slight worry that clouded her eyes. She covered it quite well, for her personality. She was able to utilize her violent outbursts and bossy tendencies to cover up her feelings from her student or from that street thug. And if he had not been watching her as closely as he had been, he was sure she would have been able to hide it from him as well.

Which brought him to this point. Why _had _he been watching her this closely? Despite his resolution to ignore the…_connection_ between them, what spurred him to ignore the warning bells he had that rang loudly in regards to this woman? What made him observe every little detail about Battousai's woman? And when did it start, this compulsion? It embarrassed him to think that it was Okina who had to bring it to his attention. Thinking back to yesterday, he winced. The old man missed nothing.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Aoshi," he heard his name called just as he stepped out of the Shirobeko. He turned and saw Okina following closely behind him. "Aoshi," he repeated. "Let me walk with you to the temple."_

_Raising his brow, he nodded respectfully towards the man who had single-handedly kept the Oniwaban group together in his absence. Surprised that the old ninja was actually able to tear himself away from his loud singing even after breakfast that morning, he walked in silence and waited patiently him to explain his presence. From the serious look on Okina's face, Aoshi wondered if the current head of the Oniwaban group had finally come to take him to task for his past actions._

_He had expected it, of course, ever since his arrival. Despite the warm welcome he had received from the rest of the Oniwaban group and even the nod of acceptance Okina had given him, he knew that there were still things left unsaid between the two of them. Things that were left unsaid, even in that small log cabin up in the mountains. He cringed, as he often did when he thought of his battle with Okina and the subsequent ending. And now, as he walked down the familiar path that led to the temple, he wondered at the host of new unvoiced concerns that resulted from that day. He lifted his face up and looked at the clear sky. Perhaps now was a good time to talk._

"_How have things been, Aoshi?" Okina broke the silence. _

_He glanced down at the man beside him. Whatever he had expected Okina to say, he had not expected him to start with question regarding his well-being. "As well as it could be," he replied carefully. What was this leading to?_

"_Did you enjoy breakfast?" Okina continued, confusing Aoshi with his line of questioning._

_He thought of breakfast at the Shirobeko, where the Oniwaban group and the Kenshin-gumi had been staying while the Aoiya was under repairs. He thought of the people, both Oniwaban group members and Kenshin-gumi representatives, that gathered around the table during mealtimes. It was a rather large group of people for one table._

"_Yes," he replied curiously. "It is...a refreshing change."_

_The man before him nodded sagely. "I agree," Okina said. "Having Kaoru and her friends here have been a blessing to the Oniwaban group and most especially to Misao."_

_He looked closely at Okina, attempting to decipher the man's calm expression._

"_As I understand it," Okina rambled on, "it was under Kaoru's influence that Misao was able to make the right choices during her brief time as the head of the Oniwaban group." He shook his head. "To think that she actually thought of purchasing a gatling gun."_

_He drew in a sharp breath. A gatling gun._

"_You didn't know?" Okina prodded. "Yes, Misao was feeling a little overwhelmed for awhile and the thought of having such a powerful weapon must have been a quick answer at that time. From what I understand, it was Kaoru's voice of reason that prevented her from making the purchase."_

_Surprise covered his features._

"_In spite of all the friendly squabbles she seem to have with her own student," Okina continued on, "that girl is a good teacher."_

_He nodded, unsure what Okina expected of him._

"_They're a good influence, that Kenshin-gumi," Okina stated._

_Again, he nodded in agreement as they both continued to walk across the stony path. _

_Okina remained silent for a few minutes before beginning again. "You watch her, you know," he said, his voice deceptively soft._

_He looked down at the man who was the closest he had to a father this past years. "I watch all the Oniwaban," he responded steadily, "and that includes Misao." Was this man matchmaking? He had thought that Okina knew better than to pair him up with a child. Or anyone else for that matter._

_Okina shook his head and stopped walking to face him. "Do not deliberately misunderstand me, Aoshi," he admonished. "You know I speak not of Misao."_

_Confused, he stared at the man before him. Later, he would berate himself for being too slow to understand Okina's meanings, but for now he looked at the man in confusion. "I don't know what you mean," he stated the obvious._

"_I've seen you," Okina replied, his eyes serious. "You watch Kaoru Kamiya like a hawk. Kaoru, not Misao."_

_He frowned. Kaoru Kamiya. Battousai's woman. "Again, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at," he replied. "If you are implying anything inappropriate regarding my behavior—"_

_Okina waved him off. "I'm not implying anything or suggesting anything inappropriate," he interrupted. "I am simply stating a fact." He took a deep breath. "You watch her, Aoshi. Maybe the others haven't noticed, but I know you and I myself have watched you these past few days. I know what I'm talking about when I say that there's something…more in the way you look at her."_

_Aoshi brushed him off. "You are making something out of nothing," he declared, moving past Okina so that he could continue to walk towards the temple. Although he was sure his face betrayed none of his thoughts, his mind was racing as he thought of his actions these past days. What had he been doing?_

"_Aoshi!" called Okina, his voice brooking no disobedience._

_Aoshi stopped and turned around to face him, his face impassive._

"_I heard you came to the Aoiya after our battle," he stated calmly. "Shiro told me what happened." Okina peered at him. "You told Kaoru that I was alive."_

"_What of it?" he asked in a tone that could have been discussion the weather. Inside, he was a mass of confusion as he thought of that day. Why _had_ he told Kamiya of Okina's fate?_

"_Don't be dense, boy," reprimanded Okina. "And today…" he sighed, "today you offered to let her accompany you in your meditations."_

_His eyes narrowed. "I thought she needed it," was his bland response._

"_Oh?" snorted Okina disbelievingly._

"_You heard them today," he said almost defensively. "How her friends tease her over her restlessness. They joke about her stopping by Battousai's room every morning to see if he's awakened yet."_

"_Yes," Okina agreed, "but she's not the only one concerned over Himura's well-being. I don't see you asking any one of them to join you in this little trip."_

"_It's different," he informed him, "her feelings are different."_

"_Oh? What makes her concern any different than the rest?"_

_Aoshi remained silent and thought of all those times Kamiya came to the makeshift graves of his men. He thought of all those times he found flowers gently laid against each stone. He wondered if the same compulsion that spurred her to stop by Battousai's room every morning spurred her to leave flowers on the unmarked graves of his men.  
_

"_Is there something I don't know?" pried Okina, after the long silence of waiting for his response. "Aoshi?"_

"_No," he finally replied, choosing keep the grave visits to himself. Not knowing what else to say, he began to make his way towards the temple again._

"_Aoshi," Okina called, softly this time._

_He paused._

"_If it was your intent to keep whatever this is to yourself," he began, "then asking Kaoru to meditate with you in front of everyone this morning was not a wise decison."_

_He clenched his jaw. "I have nothing to hide," he stated. "There is nothing to hide," he repeated. "I asked her as a gesture of friendship to one who has been a friend of the Oniwaban group." He gritted his teeth. "And in case you didn't notice, she turned it down." In fact, she laughed it off. _

_Now why did that bother him?_

_Okina looked at him closely and then behind him, to where the temple stood atop a hill. "Is that all you have to say regarding this matter?"_

_He nodded curtly._

"_Then I'll have one last say," Okina said, his voice a little resigned. "If you hurt anyone in the Oniwaban or Kenshin-gumi again, I won't forgive you." With that, he turned his back and walked back from where they came from._

_Aoshi watched his retreating form and cursed softly._

_END FLASHBACK_

The old man was right.

He had been watching Kamiya. Whether he meant to or not, his eyes strayed to her form when she happened to be in the same vicinity as him. It was only in his meditations at the Zen temple, a faraway enough place from the Shirobeko, it was only in those times when he could safely say that he did not know where Kaoru Kamiya was.

And he had the bright idea to invite her.

Not that she accepted.

He didn't know which galled him more: the fact that he invited her at all or the fact that she refused unequivocally.

And now, as he watched her listen against Battousai's door, he knew he would most likely ask again.

* * *

As she slowly passed by Kenshin's room, she felt her steps falter bit by bit until she stood directly outside the rice-paper door that separated her from the slumbering man inside. She took a deep breath and turned to face the thin barrier, gazing intently at the outline of the frame. Placing her hands against it, she leaned close and pressed her ear against the door. She held her breath for one…two…three…seconds, hoping against hope that she would hear a rustle of activity. Even the sound of silent footsteps. Anything that would indicate that Kenshin had woken up from his exhaustive slumber. She leaned closer, feeling her cheek touch against the door and waited with bated breath. 

Nothing.

Not a sound of rustle or footsteps. Not even the sound of a breeze.

Just nothing.

She pushed herself away from the door and sighed, disappointed. She was hoping that today would be the day. But then, she always did. It seemed that almost everyday she would go through this same ritual only to come out with the same feeling of helplessness. Giving a helpless sigh, she stared blankly at the door. Perhaps tomorrow would be the day.

"Kaoru Kamiya," a deep voice called from above her head.

She jumped, recognizing the owner of that voice at once. Slowly, with dread, she turned and stared at the ice blue eyes of the man before her. She looked away from him and towards the hallway as she felt her face flush with embarrassment. Had Aoshi Shinomori caught her listening against the door like some sort of…pervert?

But of course he has!

She mentally slapped herself for such a stupid question. How could he fail to notice what she had been doing? Pasting a weak smile on her face, she turned to face him and inclined her head in acknowledgement. There really was nothing left to do but try to extricate herself from this situation with as much grace as she could muster. After inclining her head in acknowledgement, she made a move to depart when he spoke once again.

"He will wake up in good time," he stated quietly, his voice low.

She glanced back quickly at him, her eyes widening in surprise at the intentness of his gaze.

"He just needs the rest," he told her steadily. "Battousai fought hard and well."

She nodded shakily in response to his words. "I know that," she replied softly. She knew it. In her most rational moments, she knew that Kenshin's body just needed time. Megumi herself had reiterated it on the numerous occasions she had caught Kaoru doing the exact same thing Aoshi Shinomori had just caught her doing. She gave the door before her another quick glance before turning back to look at the Oniwaban leader. "I must seem very silly to you right now," she said almost softly. She gave a weak laugh. "Perhaps I should have accepted your invitation to the temple," she muttered under her breath.

He looked past her and to the door behind her, almost as if he could see through the rice-paper barrier.

And who knew? Maybe he could.

She looked up at him hopefully.

"If there is anything I could do," he offered, "please do not hesitate to let me or Okina know."

Why did she have a strange feeling that his words meant more than what they say?

She nodded. "Shinomori-san," she said softly, with a tinge of finality, before she gave a slight bow and moved to escape down the hallway. She was painfully aware of the slight brush of her kimono's sleeve against his arm. She noticed the slight catch in her breath as she passed him, and hoped against hope that he didn't notice.

"Kamiya-san," she heard him call out.

She paused, and slowly turned to look back at him. She could see the slight indecision in his eyes at what he was about to say.

"About the graves," he began.

"Please," she interrupted, throwing a guilty look at the door she just left. She had known and known for quite some time that Aoshi Shinomori had wanted to talk with her about this very topic. Unfortunately, she herself was not ready to have any sort of coherent discussion regarding her actions. She had seen his questioning eyes follow her enough times to realize that he had been waiting for her to broach the subject. Except…how could she when her own confusion over the matter had led her to this situation? "I—," she began, looking for words that would bring a halt to this conversation.

"There's no one here," he said quietly, "no one to hear this conversation, if that is your worry. Most of them are downstairs already."

She attempted to look at him steadily.

"I know that you have kept your visits to yourself before," he continued. "I understand why you wouldn't have wanted anyone to know given the circumstances. You believe your friends would have felt betrayed by your actions."

Again, she sought out words to reply and found nothing but the awkward silence.

"You don't give them enough credit," he declared, his voice impassive. "But I respect your wish to keep this to yourself."

She glared at him. "You don't understand," she replied hotly. With another guilty look at the door to Kenshin's room, she faced Aoshi Shinomori.

"Yes, I do, Kamiya-san," he contradicted. "I, more than anyone else, know the consequences of my past actions. Furthermore, I understand _this,_" his hand gestured towards her and the door to Kenshin's room. "I understand why you do this." He looked at her intently. "For some time now—,"

"Please," Kaoru whispered, interrupting him, "can we not discuss this another time?"

He paused and Kaoru could hear his deep even breathing. "I doubt that any other time would suit you, Kamiya-san," he said gently. "However, I will abide by your wishes. I won't discuss this any further except to say..."

She looked up at him.

"Thank you," he finished. "For the visits and the flowers." He gave her a deep bow, before moving past her in the hallway. "They were all much appreciated."

Kaoru turned quickly and watched as he walked away. Words failed her. She was almost glad that his back was turned; otherwise, she was sure he would have noticed the look of utter surprise on her face. She almost called out to him. To say what, she never knew. But she stopped herself and instead watched the retreating figure disappear from her sight. His word reverberated in her mind.

_I understand this_, he had said.

She shook her head, trying to ignore the way those words made her feel. Instead, she focused on the last thing he said.

What was it about Aoshi Shinomori that left her tongue twisted in knots? Would it have been so difficult for her to say, "Your welcome!" to anyone else? Would it have been so difficult for her to have _any _sort of conversation with anyone else? The answer was patently obvious and so now she wondered. What was it about Aoshi Shinomori that had her defenses all go up?

_I understand this_.

She gave a frustrated sigh as she stared at her surroundings. The quarters at the Shirobeko hot-pot restaurant were cramped with the entire Oniwaban group and the Kenshin-gumi staying over while the Aoiya underwent repairs. Truth be told, she didn't really mind, or notice for that matter, the limited space that she and her friends lived in. Most of the time, she was just grateful for Sae's—Tae's twin sister—generosity at allowing them to stay over for this extent of time.

It was only in moments such as this—when she and Aoshi Shinomori manage to be in the same vicinity of each other—that she felt almost trapped. Cornered like a prey. Even now, as she watched the empty hallway, she could still feel his eyes. Try as she might, she could not prevent the tension that grips her entire body whenever she sees the leader of the Oniwaban group. And in such enclosed space, encounters such as this occur on a daily basis.

_I understand this._

Not that the man has done or even said anything untoward in the time that they have all stayed here. If anything, he was the epitome of politeness, the model guest. This episode today was the most he had ever even deigned to talk to her. He stayed out of the way for the most of the time, disappearing into the Zen temple for the better part of the day. When he was in the Shirobeko, he never failed to offer his assistance to the proprietress. Not that Sae ever accepted. Kaoru had a feeling that Tae's sister found the ninja quite intimidating.

Which then begs the question as to why Kaoru felt so discomfited around Aoshi Shinomori. The man had done nothing to warrant her wariness. Well, nothing for the past couple weeks at least. There _was _that time when he was hell-bent on killing Kenshin, after all.

As much as she would like to deceive herself, she knew that her reaction to the leader of the Oniwaban group now had nothing to do with his past actions against the Kenshin-gumi. That would have been too simple, too easy. And if there's anything she learned these past few weeks, it's that nothing is ever that simple or that easy.

_I understand this._

She almost banged her head on the wall. Why couldn't she get his words out her head? It was just like yesterday when—

_FLASHBACK_

_Breakfast was an event at the Shirobeko. In fact, she had a feeling that breakfast, lunch, and dinner would always be an event whenever the Oniwaban group and the Kenshin-gumi were at the same room. And so today was no different as she watched Sano and Yahiko fight for the next last piece of fish, Okina sing another song out of tune, Omasu apologize profusely, Megumi bicker with Sano, Misao attempt to get Aoshi's attention, and Aoshi…well...Aoshi didn't really do anything ontoward that would call attention to himself._

"_Hey, Jou-chan!" Sano's voice rising above the commotion._

_She looked up at the ex-street fighter and tilted her head in question._

"_The fox doctor said she caught you spying on Kenshin again," he smirked, waggling his brows suggestively._

_She blushed profusely. Damn that fox doctor and her big mouth!_

"_I wasn't spying," she shouted, smacking Sano in the head with the first thing her hand got hold of. Which happened to be her bokken. She knew it was handy to have that around!_

"_Hey, Hag," came in her student's contribution, "you're not turning out to be one those…you know," he gave her a suggestive look._

_She looked at him evilly. "Just for that, one thousand swings before noon," she replied, "and just for the fun of it, I've volunteered you to help Sae in the restaurant this afternoon."_

"_One thousand swings!" he screeched._

"_Make it two," she decided. Yes, two thousand sounds good. It would give him a chance to think about the perils of teasing his teacher. And calling her a hag._

"_Have you forgotten about this?" Yahiko demanded, pointing at his sling._

"_You've got your other arm free, don't you?" she asked loftily, despite blushing even more. She _had_ forgotten. She had been so preoccupied…so restless._

"_Ken-san will be up soon, you know," Megumi had to pipe in. "I have examined him and there's no reason why he shouldn't," she assured her._

_Kaoru looked at her would what would have been resentment were it not for the fact that the presence of the fox doctor made her feel slightly more at ease in regards to Kenshin's health. She had hoped that Megumi would keep their little encounter that morning to herself, but she really should have known better. She had confided about her restlessness to the doctor and she had a feeling this was Megumi's way of making sure everyone takes care of her as well._

"_Yeah, Jou-chan!" Sano heartily endorsed. "No need to keep snooping by his room all the time."_

_She closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself anywhere else, anywhere else but here where she could feel all eyes staring at her._

_She was sure they meant well, that Sano and Yahiko and Megumi. She was certain that this was just their attempt at making sure she was alright and that she wouldn't succumb to another bout of depression like before. And any other time, she might actually appreciate their efforts._

_Any other time except now._

_Not in front of the Oniwaban group._

_Not in front of Aoshi Shinomori's piercing eyes._

_Right here and right now was neither the time nor the place she would have preferred to be bombarded by her friends' _caring_ words. _

"_It's just habit now," she defended herself. She was lying, of course, but they didn't need to know that. "I've gotten so used to checking up on him on my way down that it's almost second nature."_

_Megumi and Yahiko looked at her skeptically._

_How…how…how could she explain the reason for her restlessness? _

"_Right," said Yahiko, willing the drop the subject after meeting her eyes._

"_Nah," interjected Sano._

_She looked at him furiously._

"_I think Jou-chan's just impatient for Kenshin to wake up," he declared. He leaned close, his next words for her ears only. "You wanna tell him how you feel, dontcha?" _

_Her fist flew out of nowhere to punch him in his cheek. "Sano," she said lowly, threateningly._

"_Perhaps a small amount of meditation may help," a voice interrupted. "If so, then Kamiya-san is more than welcome to join me at the temple."_

_She looked at Aoshi Shinomori, her mouth agape. The ninja sat back and drank his tea as if nothing unusual had happened. Did she just hear him correctly? She looked around her. Judging from the stunned silence around their table, she would venture to guess that: a) yes, she did hear him correctly and b) everyone else was as surprised as she was. _

_She met his eyes from above the rim of his cup as he drank more of his tea. What was the meaning of this? Was he in league with Megumi to 'help' her?_

"_Huh?" she heard Yahiko demand beside her. Strangely, she could feel his protective hackles rising._

"_Umm…no, thanks," she stammered finally, disturbed by the thought that Aoshi Shinomori might think her unstable. She tried to laugh to lighten the mood. "I can meditate on my own, you know." _

"_What?" she could hear Misao's demanding voice in the background._

_Yahiko snorted. "Ya got that right," he said acerbically. "You've got no idea how many times I've had to sit still for _hours _with Ugly here during meditation lessons. Why—"_

_Kaoru drowned out the rest of his words, her mind still on Aoshi. What had prompted him to make that offer? _

"_Well then," Aoshi Shinomori stood, his eyes fixed on hers, "I will be on my way." He bowed before them before stepping out of the Shirobeko._

_Kaoru watched as Okina followed closely behind the blue-eyed ninja. What just happened?  
_

"_Kaoru-chan," she looked up to see Misao standing directly over her. "Are you…are you mad at Aoshi-sama?" she asked hesitantly, quietly._

_She looked at the young woman in askance. Mad at Aoshi Shinomori?_

"_I understand if you are," Misao pressed on, "because he tried to harm the man you love." Misao dropped to her knees knelt in front of her, taking her hands with her own. "But he's changed," Misao said earnestly. "He's not the man he was before. Himura brought him back to us."_

"_Misao-chan, I'm not mad at your Aoshi-sama," she replied, her mind emphasizing the fact that Aoshi Shinomori was first and foremost the love of her new-found friend's life. "Whatever made you think that?" she asked out of curiosity._

_The young ninja looked at her closely, as if judging the veracity of her words. "You seemed…different towards him," she replied astutely. "And you refused his offer of help just now."_

"_Oh, well, I don't need help," she informed the young woman, choosing to deliberately ignore the first part of her answer. "I'm perfectly fine. Really."_

_END FLASHBACK_

She shook her head, willing herself to forget Aoshi Shinomori and his words. She felt her shoulders relax and her breathing come back to normal as soon as a comfortable distance separated her from the object of her musings. This time, she ran forward to make sure he was out of sight. One never knew with that man. He moved about so silently that half their encounters come upon her as a complete surprise.

_I understand this._

She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. She could fight this.

She smiled when she began to hear the beginnings of another bout of loud singing from downstairs.

Some members of the Oniwaban group, she had no trouble spotting. Just beneath the clamor, she could hear a familiar apology coming from Omasu. That pretty ninja had been doing a lot of that lately.

She grinned as she rounded the corner and caught Sae's look of amusement.

"He does get started early," she observed ruefully.

Kaoru nodded in agreement. "Do you need me to help you with anything today, Sae?" she asked. She had been doing little chores for the restaurant under Sae's supervision. It was the least she could do given the circumstances. For some reason, however, Sae hasn't let her back in the kitchen since after that first day.

"Oh we shouldn't be needing much help today, Kaoru," the businesswoman replied. "Tuesday is usually our slowest day of the week so we should be able to take care of the customers and our guests."

Kaoru nodded in acknowledgement. "Well, if there is anything you need," she offered again, "don't hesitate to let me or Yahiko know. We'd be more than willing to pitch in."

Sae smiled in acceptance and nodded her head before passing her. Kaoru turned back, watching their hostess walk away with a sigh of regret. They really shouldn't impose for much longer. She could see signs of weariness in Sae's eyes and she knew that as much as their hostess may deny it, their presence must be taking a toll on her and her business.

_I understand this._

She bit her lip. Hard.

How could Aoshi Shinomori understand when she herself was at a loss?

* * *

Next Chapter: A chance meeting draws two healing souls closer together. 


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